I Must Confess
by RiYuYami
Summary: Father, I must confess... Sir, I… I am in love, still in love, with my commanding officer. One-sided RoyEd


This is just because I have been really busy and kinda forgot about my lovely FMA fanfics that still need to be updated, though I am currently on hiatus with them all until my laptop is working again, I have started the next chapter for each of them on there and I don't want to rewrite them.

Plus, I miss my lovely RoyEd stories.

The reason for this is because, though I know Edward is not religious, I love seeing him in a church, it makes him look… wise beyond his years for some reason. Plus, he might have to confess though he knows there is no such thing as a God.

Pardon me for skipping over some important stuff in the anime since I'm more of a manga follower, (and currently the new series of FMA called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) but there are mentionings of this and that in there from the original anime.

Summery: Father… I'm not a man of religion, in fact I don't believe in anything other then Equivalent Exchange and right now I'm starting to lost faith in that as well… but I came here, to a church, to ask for advice. Sir, I… I am in love, still in love, with my commanding officer.

Warning: yaoi, cussing

This is one sided RoyEd BTW.

I own nothing but the plot.

On with the fic!

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**I Must Confess**

**RoyEd one-shot**

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Father… I'm not a man of religion, in fact I don't believe in anything other then Equivalent Exchange and right now I'm starting to lost faith in that as well… but I came here, to a church, to ask for advice.

Personally, I find me even being here to be rather silly.

I'm sorry for laughing…

I'm the kind of person who shouldn't even step in a place like this, last time I did I ruined some people's lives but I took down an evil mastermind, anyway, I need to speak to someone about this and know if it is right or wrong. I can't talk to Al, my sweet little brother; I already know how he would react.

Sir, I… I am in love, still in love, with my commanding officer.

Actually, EX-commanding officer, at least he might still be, I don't know because I have not seen him in two years.

Hmm?

Oh yes… I'm in love with a male while I myself am one as well, but remember, I'm not a man of your God. But anyway, I guess I should start from the beginning, it's probably best because it would be confusing.

Alright, first of all, I'm from another world, or at least a world that is almost the same as this one. But my world and your world are very different as well; the biggest difference is the fact that in my world, we use alchemy for ordinary things, though some people use them for war.

But anyway, you see my brother Alphonse and I, our father was a known alchemist named Hohenhiem and when I was five and all was four, he left us in the care of our mother. Soon, we began to study alchemy after he left because it made our mother smile.

Oh? She smiled because it reminded her of our father and how he would do alchemy for her.

But then one day when I was ten and Al was nine… our mom got sick and then she passed away shortly after. Then we decided… we were going to bring her back with the same thing that made her smile.

We spent six months training with our teacher who beat her alchemy lessons into us, literally, she'd beat us up when we screwed up. But when we came back to our home town, we took our father's information to bring our mother back to life.

We tried and failed. Turns out that there is an Equivalent Exchange, that is the law of alchemy, in even this. To gain something, something of equal value must be lost, I lost my right arm, and Al lost his whole body.

In exchange, I gained the ability to transmute without drawing symbols, and… something that wasn't my mother. I used my new powers and blood, attaching Al's soul to a suit of armor in exchange for my left leg.

That night, after I passed out, I was taken to my friend's house and there is where I met him… the man I later fell for.

His name was Roy Mustang, and at the time he was only a Lt. Colonel. He came to the house due to a letter me and Al had sent out, looking for out father. He was going to let me join the military to get information to help my brother and I.

My friend, Winry, and her grandmother mixed me up some special metal limbs called automail limbs and after a year, Al and I began our mission to return to normal, I even burnt down our house so we would never give up and go home.

I became the youngest state alchemist in the history of the military. Huh? A state alchemist is someone who works for the state and uses their abilities for research and to help the military. Roy helped us every time we needed him.

But soon… things started to change…

When I first started out, me and Al went looking for the Philosopher's Stone, which you people in this world know already. But after I read the notes on how one was made, those plans changed.

You see, the stone could be used to amplify alchemic power and fix what has been set wrong, but the main ingredient of the stone was… live humans, hundreds of them.

We changed our plans, but a friend of ours, he found out a secret about the stone in the military and… he was killed for it. Roy became distant and I was scared to tell him about the feelings I had for him, but at the time of my friend's death, I was never told for you see I was on my way to teacher's place to ask her for help.

But when we arrived, she sent us to an island that me and Al spent a month on to think over what we did because we told her about our mistake and she still beat us up. But on the island we met a boy, and he was a homunculus.

A homunculus is an artificial human made by a failed attempt at human transmutation, I created Sloth who looks like my mother, teacher created Wrath who was the boy and her dead baby, and there are five others. One of which was created by the brother of a man named Scar, her name is Lust.

Who is Scar you ask? Well, he is a man who is taking revenge on state alchemist because they almost destroyed his people during a war.

Anyway, I ran into these beast and they were trying to use me to make a stone, I was able to escape but a city, the one with the church, killing many people and Scar who used his powers and transferred them to Al who's suit became the new stone.

Because of this, the head of the military, King Bradley who was a homunculus known as Pride, had the military after Al and I. While on the run, Roy confronted me and asked why I never asked him for his help. This is when I realize how much he meant to me, he care so much for me even though we fought and bickered all the time.

He truly cared.

Soon we parted after my father came back to tell me of things about what had happened. Roy went off to take down Bradley. We meet back in Central one final time when I was about to destroy the homunculi and their leader while Roy went to fight Wrath.

I wish I hadn't touched his hand that day; I wanted to tell him how I felt and that I loved him.

Forgive me Father for saying this, but I wanted to kiss him right there and then.

I left and fought the one called Envy, son of my father and the leader of the homunculi, Dante, and I found out that all of them were four hundred years old. Envy, his power was to change his form, when I fought him, he changed to his form as a human and he… he killed me.

I was in another realm, looking at the Gate which connected this world with mine. I saw Al and he vanished, then Envy appeared and opened the Gate, getting taken in so he could fight my father, his father.

I remember crying… Al sacrificed himself.

I woke up with my body whole, but it was for nothing because I then sacrificed myself, now that I was the new stone, and returned my brother to normal.

When I woke up, I was in a house in London with my father and I had my automail limbs still. We were now living on the other side of the Gate together, and two years later, he disappeared after we moved to here in Munich.

I wasn't alone, oh not at all Father, I was living with my friend Alfonse Heidrich who was this world's version of my brother. We were both studying rocketry here and one day, while we were at a carnival, we saved a gypsy.

She didn't try to harm us at all sir, she was the one being harmed because some awful men wanted to use her power to read people. Anyway, we saved her and weird things started to happen.

I met this man who looks like Bradley but was much nicer and he took me with him to go capture a dragon, who I found out was Envy and these strange people, who knew my father, captured him.

This got me into finding out what this strange group was up too and in doing so, I found out that it was a group trying to find some mystical world, but they thought my world was this place and even used my father's knowledge of alchemy to get to it.

I somewhat helped when I activated the circle, though in this world alchemy doesn't work, and then a portal opened and dead people in suits of armor fell through. I found that there was an empty suit, one that looked like my brother's in the pile and Al's soul was in it!

We escaped and he told me that he was in a body and he could transfer his soul into things, but he didn't remember any of his time in the original suit.

This caused me to find a way to enter my world again and with the sacrifice of my father and Envy, along with Alfonse, I entered my world and reunited with Al. I met Roy again as he helped me fight off the enemies and when I had to return to this world, I wanted to cry, Roy had lost an eye and in his good one I could see utter sadness.

I…

Al… he was crying and screaming…

Roy was holding him back, looking at me with utter despair that I just wanted to die on the spot but I turned and walked away. I saved my world and I found out Al had snuck in behind me. I was grateful of that, but he told me that he saw a tear fall from Roy's face.

I started crying on the spot.

It's been two years now, I've seen so many familiar faces but I have not seen his.

An officer looks like my dead friend. Alfonse, who dies saving me, looked like Al. Gracia who owns a flower shop looks like my dead friend's wife, the gypsy Noah looks like my friend Rose, there are so many others that it hurts remembering who they are in my world…

But I still have not seen a man with a soft, round face, ebony locks, and those dark eyes that captivate me… but I know, it's silly, I'm pretty sure that he is living in another country somewhere right now.

Thank you for listening to me Father, but I must be going, I told Al I was going for a walk.

Hm?

If I ever get to see him again?

I highly doubt it, but if I could, I'd tell him how I feel and that I want him to continue living everyday to the fullest. I know that he wouldn't be in love with me like that, I mean, after all I use to yell and bitch at him all the time and I hated him for not telling me some things, but he still means a lot of me.

Thank you for listening to me.

Hey, you know… you kinda look like… never mind.

Coming back? Well, as I stated before, church and me don't go together, but maybe I might come back, after all, God kinda owes me for some things.

-End-

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